Ohhhh… its getting horrible now… I think its just getting worse for me now… Had a chat with her yesterday… And…

Not sure but think I might propose her just once more on the 14th… Just scared how she will take it and fear that I am risking my friendship… Do not blame her but I do not know what to do… Made myself busy but every single moment I get to think of something it is her… I have not thought of life without her… Oh… Man, I sound like a frustrated ass…  I do not think I can write more.

I think I will call her on the 14th of Feb.